chemossSometimes when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I have the weight of the world on shoulders, I just want to roll over to the other side of the bed and go back to sleep; it’s so much easier to let that anchor drag you down to the depths but then every time I start to go below the surface I remember the so called ‘so-what’ factor…everybody has problems of their own and then the all so over-whelming, ‘it could be worse’ dissertation! Now, if there is something I dislike, it’s those people who try to motivate you by showing you how much worse the situation could be; at least you have a roof over your head, they draw very vivid pictures of a little kid in Somalia that hasn’t had any food or clean water for days, they remind you that 70% of the population is sub-Saharan Africa are living below the poverty. As good intended as this maybe – as it does show you how infinitely better your life is in comparison to – I believe it only adds to your uneasiness – albeit subconsciously – because you get to see just how bottomless the pit really is. Personally, I am a ‘happily-ever-after’ sorta fella; I am not waiting for a silver spoon to fall into my lap but I know if you keep trying then you’ll definitely get that break. I just want you to point out the markers; show me the next exit and I will find the motivation to get there…
The ‘problem-shared-is problem-solved’ premise – believe it or not – works for everyone (yeah, even the really evil ones too, like Darth Vader and a couple of friends I have 
) In theory at least – and I know Dougie (see the ‘couple of friends’ bit above) will simply write this one off as another example of that psycho pseudo-science gibberish – an anxious mind will only magnify your worries and make mountains out of mole-hills. When the unsettled mind tries to create solutions, it’s like trying to see through a fog. So when you share, you unburden your mind, it’s like put the weights down to stretch, it’s like surfacing for breath, it gives you new strength and sometimes a new perspective, they don’t have to suggest any solutions, most of time you have the answers within yourself but you just need to find some space to sift through the clatter and find the answers without questions. There is no worse torture to the soul than the feeling that you have no-one to talk to, the ‘me-against-the-world’ scenario that can lead to a despondency and apathy. My mum says I should pray but since I am too small to talk to God, I (borrowing a trick from exalted company like Khalil Gibran and Ralph) solved that problem by creating seven other selves in my head that I could talk to but even that sometimes is not enough because they are all…well, a little too crazy, imaginary even! So then I learned how to write…
So the pen is my truest friend because she ruthlessly depicts my inadequacies, makes a mockery of my fears and she doesn’t judge or make any expectations of me…she is that friend that I only reach-out for on nights when I feel alone, when I feel weighed down by the burden of living; always faithful and ready to listen. I share my worries with her and she makes an art out of it, she unburdens me and helps me to make sense of things. I hope that you can all find such a friend, one who will listen to the horrors that darken your soul, look at your ugly nakedness and know when you need the truth…
